Be You

- North Fork of the Elk River, Clark, Colorado -

The other day someone shared with me how well they are recovering from a recent surgery. Now, I am usually pretty excited for people on their journey back from an injury or illness. I know the road back can be rough, filled with all kinds of potholes. In this case, though, I was a bit put off. While expressing out loud how excited they must be, inside my head I immediately compared my recovery to theirs (an entirely different situation) and began to beat myself up for my slow slog back to my old self.

I replayed this in my mind quite a bit and two thoughts really stick out for me....

How I felt like a failure - a physical sensation I could feel in my body. And how this sensation felt so negative. It definitely didn't motivate me to want to move more. In fact, it made me want to get back into my bed and pull the covers over my head.

How this reaction was so unfair - In the moment, I couldn't get refocused on the person talking. All I did was keep a supportive face on (well, I tried....) while my mind immediately started the beat up process (on me).

At this point, I can let it go. I am not him, I am me. My accident and my journey are mine and mine alone to experience and work through. I'll be a different person in a different body when I am done, if there is a place called "done" when recovering. Still not sure that exists....

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken" - Oscar Wilde

mgk